Jealousy by You
by randomklainer
Summary: Jake starts to feel jealous when Ryder makes a new friend. But why? He's still Ryder's best friend. What possible reason could there be? Jealous!Jake
1. Chapter 1

**So the awesome Tincho P prompted some jealous!Jake after Ryder made friends with an OC (who would be played by The Glee Project's Michael Weisman). Hopefully this isn't gonna be too long, but this is only the start.**

It was a Thursday, and Jake was hanging out with Marley and Ryder, waiting for glee club to start. They were just discussing their plans for the weekend when Finn walked in with a student by his side. They continued the conversation for several more minutes, but it was clear that Ryder had checked out from it. It was weird, Jake thought, because Finn obviously wasn't going to be starting for a couple of minutes yet. But even still, Ryder was watching the two guys carefully.

'Okay, everyone,' Finn called, stopping their conversation short. 'First off, I'd like to introduce Josh. He's new to McKinley and has decided to join glee club. And,' he paused for a moment, clearly confused, 'a whole bunch of other clubs too. So, welcome Josh, have a seat.'

'Thanks, man,' Josh responded. Jake watched as he took a seat down the front, leaving a chair between him and Sam.

Finn nodded once before continuing. 'So, this week, the assignment is duets. Songs you would never normally sing.'

As Finn finished speaking, Marley was grabbing at Jake's arm. 'I have the perfect idea. We should totally do heavy metal.' Jake nodded his agreement, but at the same time, he was watching Ryder. After casting a last look at the two of them, he was making his way down the risers, approaching Josh.

Marley continued speaking, but Jake wasn't really paying attention. He just nodded along in agreement, hoping he wasn't getting himself into too much trouble.

Ryder was introducing himself to Josh now, a wide smile on his face as they shook hands. As he sat down, they began talking animatedly, Josh using excited hand gestures. When he saw Ryder begin to laugh, actually throwing his head back and laughing, Jake decided he'd seen enough. He turned back to Marley.

'So, what song did you want to sing?' she was asking.

Jake shrugged. He really didn't mind, but he was sure that Marley would have an opinion. 'You choose.'

She looked at him, bemused. 'Were you not listening Jake? I just said that I don't know much about the genre. I could only list, like, four bands. So I don't really know of any songs.'

'Should we both go home and research it then? I don't really know either.'

'Sure,' Marley agreed, before leaning over for a kiss. Jake gave her a quick peck, before turning towards Ryder at the sound of his laugh. Why was he having so much fun?

When practise finished, Jake hurried down to Ryder's side. They were going to hang out at Jake's house to work on a project.

He arrived while Ryder was still talking to Josh. 'So, I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?' Jake watched as they did some complicated handshake. They'd known each other for less than an hour, and they already had a secret handshake. It was ridiculous.

'Hey, man,' Jake greeted as Ryder turned around. He clapped Ryder on the back, pulling him into an awkward half hug, carefully watching Josh over Ryder's shoulder. Ryder seemed a bit surprised by the action, but he went with it anyway, hand patting clumsily at Jake's back.

'Ready to go?' he asked. Jake followed him out of the room, out to his car.

On the way to his house, Jake found his curiosity rising. 'So, you and Josh seemed to get on well.'

'Yea,' Ryder agreed, glancing over. 'He's pretty cool. He reckons he's gonna try out for basketball with us.'

'Really?' Originally, when they'd joined the basketball team, it had just been to make up for the loss of glee. But they'd decided to stay anyway, and Jake was glad they had. He enjoyed the chance to have some bro time with Ryder.

Ryder didn't seem to share his same concerns. 'Yea. And he swims, and he's gonna join the jazz band, and the mathletes.'

'He's gonna be busy,' Jake agreed half-heartedly.

'Mm.' They fell silent for a moment, before Ryder continued speaking. 'Hey, I was thinking, would it be cool if I invited Josh to hang out with us over the weekend? It would be a great chance for him to make new friends.'

Jake felt hesitant. 'I dunno. Surely he'll make tonnes of friends in all his clubs? He seems sociable enough.'

'We need to make him feel welcome in New Directions though,' Ryder countered. 'Need to help him make friends with all the club.'

'Is that why you're doing a duet with him?'

Ryder thought for a moment. 'Well, yea, partially. I mean, someone has to offer him the olive branch. But at the same time, there weren't really any other options. It was pretty obvious you were gonna pair up with Marley.'

Jake watched him carefully as he said that, took in the hurt that was written across his face. Sure, it would seem most likely that Ryder was upset about Marley skipping out on him, but Jake's gut told him that it was actually him that Ryder was feeling remiss about.

'You do realise you'll always be my best bud, right?'

Ryder looked across at this, a small smile playing at his face. 'And you'll always be mine.'

Jake couldn't help himself, he had to ask. 'Not matter how awesome Josh turns out to be?'

'Exactly.'

**So I definitely need everyone's input with this. Firstly, can someone suggest a song for Jake and Marley to sing, as I know even less about heavy metal than Marley does? Also any suggestions for what Josh and Ryder sing?**

**I have a general idea of where this is going, but I'd like suggestions to help me. How drawn out do you want this to be? How long does Jake take to work out his feelings (because he totally has feelings for Ryder)? Does Ryder already reciprocate? Should it be unrequited love? Should Josh get in the way? What should happen about Marley? Would Jake dump her for Ryder? How angsty do you want this fic to be?**


	2. Chapter 2

**I just want to thank those people who gave me some ideas. I think I now know exactly where I'm going. Also, if you're interested/didn't already know, I've written a handful of other Jyder fics as well. And some Klaine.**

**Ok, shameless plug over now.**

Saturday afternoon quickly rolled around, and when Jake and Marley arrived at Ryder's house Josh was already there. Even though Jake had never actually agreed that he should come. But then again, it was Ryder's house.

A short while later, they were snuggled up in the den, Jake and Marley sharing a couch while Josh and Ryder each had an armchair. They were watching the Hunger Games, since Marley somehow got to decide.

'Peeta's so hot,' she exclaimed, the first moment he appeared on the screen.

Jake couldn't help but laugh at the incredulous look Ryder gave her. 'No way. Gale is so much hotter.'

'Umm, what?' Josh seemed confused. 'Is this a thing you guys do? Because I really don't have any opinions on this.'

'No, it's not,' Ryder was quick to explain. 'It's just that I'm bi. And Marley's the only one who'll have these conversations with me.'

Josh nodded in understanding. 'Oh, that's cool.'

Jake felt relieved at Josh's reaction, the fact that he was so relaxed about it. Ryder had had enough people be total douches to him about that. But at the same time, if he'd been rude, it would have been a good excuse to get rid of him. Even if it did seem like Josh was a good guy.

Xxx

Jake came to, the heavy weight of Marley pressing down on him. Sometime during the third movie they'd laid down on the couch. They must have fallen asleep soon after, because Jake couldn't remember the end of the movie. Jake's neck was sore, so he tried to stretch it, taking the opportunity to look around the dimly lit room.

His eyes landed upon the armchair where Ryder had been sitting. He was still there, but Josh was there as well now. Sitting very close. Their lips locked together. Jake lost his ability to speak. They were really going for it, and Jake couldn't look away.

It wasn't until Ryder let out a breathy moan that Jake regained his voice. 'What the hell?' He hoped they didn't notice the way his voice cracked.

Ryder and Josh jumped away from each other, but continued sitting side by side. Well, they did for a while, but the way Jake glared at Josh soon changed that.

'I'm – Imma go get a drink.' Jake watched him the whole way, not turning back to Ryder until Josh was out of sight.

As he started speaking, Jake was glad the kitchen was so far away. Even still, he kept his voice at a forceful whisper. 'And the reason behind this was?'

'Josh was curious, so he asked if we could.'

That made things even worse. 'And you let him? You do realise he was just using you?'

'No, he wasn't.'

Jake sighed deeply. 'You were the subject for his experimentation, Ryder. He definitely was.'

'Not really.' Ryder continues before Jake can think of a retort. 'I mean, there was something in it for me as well. He was – I'd never kissed a guy before.'

Jake didn't reply for a moment. He didn't know why, but for some reason it really annoyed him that Josh was Ryder's first guy kiss. It didn't bear thinking about. 'So how'd the bicurious thing work out for Josh?'

'I don't know,' Ryder replied, sounding annoyed now. 'You interrupted us before we got a chance to talk.'

Jake knew when he wasn't wanted, so he settled himself back down, wrapping an arm around Marley. 'Please don't let me wake up to that again,' he called.

'I'll keep that in mind,' was Ryder's response.

Xxx

When Jake woke up the next morning, Marley was cuddled up against his chest. She must have rolled over in her sleep. He tried to detangle himself without waking her up, relieved when she only stirred. As he sat up, he looked back over to Ryder's armchair. Josh was there again, the two of them curled around each other, fast asleep. Things must have worked out for them. Jake briefly wondered if they were together now. Not that he had any intention of asking. He really didn't want to know.

And ok, sure, he should probably be happy for Ryder, if he'd finally found someone. But Jake really didn't like Josh, and he really didn't like the idea of the two of them together.

But it wouldn't be fair for him to lay all that on Ryder. Especially since he didn't know the reason why. So he focused on schooling his face into a neutral expression before anyone else woke up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Jake and Marley sing Question! by System of a Down. Which is a pretty awesome song, I discovered, thanks to Gabbyluv23.**

**The same reviewer suggested that Josh and Ryder could do a song by a female (although they suggested it could be RnB). Tincho P suggested they could do a TGP song. So they sing My Life Would Suck Without You. Hopefully it qualifies as something Ryder hasn't sung before.**

On Monday in glee, Jake and Marley were the first to perform. They'd managed to find a song, and Jake had to admit it was pretty cool. Even if neither of them usually listened to that music. And their voices harmonised on it really well.

When they finished, everyone applauded politely. Jake noticed the way Josh had to take his arm back from around Ryder's chair to be able to do so. It was kinda sickening. He purposefully looked away as he made his way back to his seat.

Soon it was Ryder and Josh's turn to sing. They shoved at each other as they made their way down the risers. They watched each other the whole way through the song, throwing an arm around each other as the song came to an end. Jake didn't know why they had to be so obvious about their relationship. It was disgusting. Surely he and Marley weren't that bad.

He had to admit though, the song was pretty good. He would hate to think how long they'd worked on that yesterday. Or how they'd spent their breaks. Nope, not worth thinking about.

Xxx

Jake made his way to the gym. He, Ryder and Marley always hung out there during their break on Tuesdays. He and Ryder would mess around with a basketball, and Marley – he didn't know what Marley did.

When Jake entered the gym, he immediately spotted Ryder and Josh. Ryder was trying to teach Josh how to shoot a free throw, body hugging Josh's, arms wrapped around his. It was kinda ridiculous really, considering how useless Ryder was at scoring goals.

It seemed that Ryder was whispering instructions in Josh's ear, and Jake really didn't want to watch that. So he picked up a stray ball, focussing on bouncing it gently. He concentrated on a line on the floor, trying to make the ball land on it each time.

The next time he looked up, Ryder was defending Josh while he tried to do a layup. Jake watched as Ryder went in for a tackle, the two of them collapsing to the floor. They were rolling around now, wrestling in a fight for dominance. It made Jake think of something else, and he felt his anger growing. He couldn't stand the thought of Ryder doing that. Especially with Josh.

His emotions running high, he flung his basketball across the gym, listened to the thunk-tha-thunk as it ricocheted off the bleachers. He heard Marley give a shocked little squeal. Stupid girl, he found himself thinking, it wasn't that close to hitting her.

Ryder had spotted him now and he was heading over, extending a hand when he got close. Jake was surprised. Was this a thing now? But he took the hand anyway, leaning in to whack Ryder solidly on the back.

When he pulled away, Josh was there as well, his hand out, looking hopeful. Jake just scoffed before turning back to Ryder.

'So, shall we continue our game of one-on-one?' Ryder seemed torn, looking from him to Josh, trying to make a decision.

In the end, Josh made it for him. 'It's ok, I need to go anyway. Figgins wanted to see me, something about my transfer.' He and Ryder did their secret handshake before he gave Jake a hopeful smile – which he pointedly ignored – and then Josh was off.

Jake felt relieved to have Ryder back to himself, no pesky boyfriends getting in the way. Seriously, Josh was irksome, and in more than just an 'I'm eternally positive' kind of way. Jake didn't know how he was gonna handle having to see the two of them every day.

He tried to clear his mind, wanting to focus on the time he had now with Ryder. Especially since he didn't know how much of his time he'd get now. Usually, when they played these games, they'd chat as well, talking about everything and nothing. He racked his mind for something to say. Now would be a perfect time to get the official word on Ryder and Josh, he figured.

'So are we still on for tomorrow's COD marathon?' he eventually asked instead.

Xxx

As he walked down the hallway the next day, Jake spotted Ryder and Josh standing at Ryder's locker. Josh was fixing Ryder's hair, speaking in a hushed voice. Ryder laughed in response, hand coming up to touch Josh's elbow. Jake didn't know why they didn't just make out in the middle of the hallway.

Jake felt himself pull Marley closer to him. She looked up. 'What's wrong babe?'

'Nothing.' But he pulled her closer still, spinning her around to kiss her. The kiss was forceful, the pressure bruising. It was brief though, Marley pulling away sharply.

'Seriously Jake, what's wrong with you?' She wrenched herself out of his grip, stalking off down the hallway.

Jake watched her go, trying to work out what he'd done wrong. Suddenly, he felt a presence beside him. It was Josh.

'Hey, man. Can I talk to you for a minute?'

Jake huffed a sigh. 'If you must.'

'Great.' Josh's smile got broader. 'I just wanted to say that I'm not gonna get in the way of you and Ryder. I know you two are close.'

Jake couldn't help but snort. 'Shouldn't I be saying that to you?'

Josh looked confused. 'What do you mean? You're Ryder's best friend.'

'Yea, but you're dating him.' It came out as a desperate whisper, Jake not wanting everyone around him to hear.

'No. No, I'm not. I'm straight.'

'Really?' He tried his best to sound derisive. 'Because I don't usually find straight guys kissing another guy at two on a Sunday morning.'

Josh was starting to look panicked now. 'That was just a one time thing. I was just trying it out.'

'And obviously it didn't spin your wheels.' Jake let out a hollow laugh. 'Does Ryder know that? Does he know you're not together?'

'Yes, of course. We talked about it. Besides, what would make him think we're together?' Josh seemed genuinely confused.

'You two are pretty touchy-feely.' Jake's voice trailed off, the argument starting to sound a bit weak.

'That's just how we are. How did you not know that about Ryder?' Jake didn't reply, just continued to stand there. 'Anyway, as I was saying, I don't wanna get in the way of your and Ryder's, um, whatever it is.'

'Our friendship?'

'Yea, sure. That.' Jake wanted to ask what Josh meant, but he was already walking away.


	4. Chapter 4

For the next day and a half, Marley refused to talk to him. So when she approached him at lunch on Friday, he was surprised.

'We need to talk.' Her voice was serious, and Jake knew immediately that this wouldn't be good.

When they'd found a quiet corner of the cafeteria, she continued to speak. 'I've been thinking a lot, and, I-I can't be with you anymore, Jake.'

He felt like someone had pulled the rug out from under him. 'What do you mean?'

'I feel like I don't know you anymore. There's this scary, unpredictable side to you now. And I just, I don't trust you anymore.' He just sat there, shocked into silence. 'Jake?'

'I, um, shit, I – ' He tried to find something coherent to say. 'I would never hurt you, Marley.' It came out as a plea.

'And I want to believe you, but I just can't be sure. The way you've been treating me lately – ' She trailed off, as if Jake was meant to know what she was talking about. 'I'm sorry,' she whispered eventually.

'No, no, it's ok,' he hurried to assure her, even though it didn't feel ok. 'You need to feel safe. I'm sorry I couldn't provide that for you.'

Suddenly, Jake felt like he needed to get out of there, needed to get away from it all. It looked like Marley was wanting to say something more, but he would never know. Because he got up abruptly then, hurrying out of the cafeteria.

Xxx

Jake was squinting up at the sun when suddenly a shadow was cast across his face. He glanced across. Ryder. He was lying back now too, mirroring Jake's position.

He shouldn't be surprised that Ryder had found him, he figured. This was where he always came when he was upset. Just beyond the bleachers, out of sight from the rest of the school. Ryder had found him here a few times before.

And it was probably glee now, he realised. He'd missed a few classes, none of which Ryder was in, but now that he wasn't in glee, Ryder had realised there was a problem. That meant he must have been here for a couple of hours by now.

Suddenly, Ryder broke the silence, nudging at his side. 'You ok, man?'

Jake let out a deep sigh. It was a pointless question, but he knew Ryder was just trying to start the conversation. 'I really cared about her.'

'I know.' He didn't say anything more.

'And it's just like, it came out of nowhere.'

'Yea.'

'She said she didn't trust me.' Jake rolled over to his side, trying to convey the urgency. 'Why wouldn't she trust me?'

'I don't know.' Jake felt himself crumple a little more at the lack of an answer. 'For the record though, I trust you. I'd trust you with my life.'

Jake felt himself smile at that, a small, genuine smile. He felt a little bit of hope return, relieved that at least Ryder had faith in him.

They lay like that for a while longer, Ryder on his back, Jake on his side over him. Eventually, Ryder spoke up, 'Are you gonna be ok?' As he said it, he cupped a hand to the side of Jake's face. It felt weirdly intimate.

Jake let himself collapse back down onto his back, away from the hand. 'Eventually.'

Silence fell over them again. And ok, Jake was still hurting, but every minute seemed to lessen the pain a little. He knew he wouldn't be over this by the time he got up from the grass, but even still, it didn't seem as bad as it had even half an hour ago.

After a few more minutes, Jake was able to sit back up, the pain subsiding enough to allow that. He looked down at Ryder. 'So, now that Marley's single, do you think you'll go after her?' He kept his voice light, but a small part of him was still worried.

He laughed at the way Ryder's brow furrowed. 'That would be a pretty low blow, man. Besides,' he added after a few moments, 'I'm interested in someone else now.'

'Ooh, who?' And Jake knew it was girlish to get excited about gossip, but he was glad for the chance to distract himself further.

Ryder seemed evasive. 'Let's just say they're a close friend.'

Jake thought about that for a moment, trying to work out who it could be. It was abundantly obvious though. Clearly Ryder had a crush on Josh. This was bad. Almost as bad as thinking the two were already dating. At least he knew now that Josh was straight. But then again, that just made things worse for Ryder. Because unrequited love must suck. He didn't want to have to watch Ryder go through that.

Just when he'd started to think that Josh was bearable.

**I promise that Jake will be dealing with his feelings for Ryder soon.**

**Also, I'm hoping to be updating You're My Kryptonite in a day's time. Hopefully.**


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday night, Jake was back around at Ryder's. It was a guys' night; him and Ryder and Josh. Jake wasn't overly thrilled about Josh being there, but he was learning to accept that he was Ryder's friend. Since Marley had stopped talking to him, Jake had hung out with the both of them over the last week. And during that time, he may have had moments when he realised that Josh wasn't that bad. Not many moments, but it had happened.

Jake and Josh were sitting on the couch, while the three of them played Xbox, Ryder sitting on the floor leaning against Josh's legs. Jake still wasn't used to how tactile they were. And sure, maybe it didn't mean anything from Josh's perspective. But Jake knew there was a whole lot of meaning behind it when Ryder pillowed his cheek against Josh's knee. It was just another reminder of how he was head over heels for Josh.

Josh leant down, hand gentle on Ryder's head. 'You tired?'

'No, 'm fine.' Jake couldn't help but laugh at how sleepy Ryder sounded.

'Well, maybe we should just put a movie on anyway.' Josh suggested. Jake had to agree, it was getting kinda hard to focus.

Ryder struggled to his feet, Josh's hand at his back pushing him up. 'Harry Potter alright?'

Jake nodded his agreement. The fact that he'd seen it so many times before meant it wouldn't take too much effort to watch. Ryder loaded the disc before settling into an armchair, tucking a blanket around himself.

They were only half an hour into the movie when Jake heard a gentle snore. He glanced over to the armchair, where Ryder was fast asleep. His face looked peaceful, boyishly young. The blanket was pulled right up to his chin. An arm dangled over the side of the chair. Jake didn't turn back to the movie.

'So,' Jake jumped at the voice, even though it was soft. 'When are you gonna admit to it?'

Slowly, Jake turned to Josh. Sure, maybe he was convincing himself he could deal with Josh, but he still didn't see the need for one on one conversations. 'Admit to what?'

'Your feelings for Ryder.' It was said so matter-of-factly.

'I don't know what you mean.'

Josh frowned slightly. 'Yes you do. You're in love with him. You're just afraid to admit it.'

'You're being ridiculous,' Jake hissed at him. 'I don't even know why you'd think that.'

'Really?' Josh actually seemed incredulous. 'You mean you didn't realise that the reason you hate me is because you're jealous?'

'I'm not. I don't like you because you're a douche.'

'Ok.' Jake was surprised he didn't question that more. 'But I could see the way you freaked out when you thought I was dating him.'

'Because I don't want him dating the wrong person.'

'Someone who's not you?' Jake heaved a sigh, but Josh continued before he could say anything. 'I also caught you staring at him just now. Actually you do it a lot. Y'know, heart eyes make it pretty obvious.'

Jake found himself spluttering now. 'I do not have heart eyes.'

'Sure you don't. Anyway, finally, I assume you're not always irrationally angry. I think you'll find it's a symptom of the jealousy.'

'I've been irrationally angry?' Jake was surprised; he hadn't noticed it.

'Yea, you just randomly get real aggressive. I mean, you nearly hit Marley in the head with a basketball.' Jake thought about that for a moment. Yea, ok, that was a bit closer than he'd wanted to admit. 'Anyway, I'm just telling you this to try to help you out. Because someone needed to tell you.'

'Sure.' The tone was sarcastic; Jake still wasn't convinced. 'Why didn't someone else point it out earlier though?'

'Dunno. Maybe you needed an outsider to spot it.' Josh got up from the couch before turning back. 'Just make sure you give it some thought, ok?' After stopping the movie, Josh tucked himself into the other armchair, leaving Jake the couch.

As Jake settled himself down, he felt his mind going into overdrive. The first thought he was drawn to was the idea of him being angry. Was it true? He supposed that would explain Marley not trusting him. She had said that he'd changed recently. And he had definitely got worked up in the gym the other day. Actually come to think of it, he had been treating Marley pretty badly recently. And in all the instances that he thought about, Ryder featured in there somehow. Usually flirting with Josh.

So could it be true? Did he really have feelings for Ryder? Was he actually in love with Ryder? The idea seemed kinda ridiculous. Ryder was his bro. They talked and laughed and joked around. They hung out together, played basketball. Ryder's friendship meant the world to him. Ryder meant the world to him.

Jake loved the way Ryder smiled. The way his eyes lit up when he laughed. He loved the adorable frown lines Ryder got when he was confused. He always just wanted to kiss them away.

Wait, what?

Jake tried his best to ignore that thought, instead continuing on with the thought process. Ryder was always there for him, whenever he needed someone, he knew he could turn to Ryder. When he was upset, it was always Ryder who was there to comfort him. Whenever he needed someone to just hold him, he would always wish it could be Ryder. When he needed someone to chase away his fears, it was Ryder he wanted.

And he would always to his best to do the same for Ryder. When it came down to it, they were kind of co-dependent. Jake had suspicions that was a pretty big sign.

And, ok, if he was being honest with himself, there were definitely physical desires there too. Last weekend, when he'd shared this couch with Marley, deep down he'd wished it was Ryder instead. And now he really wanted Ryder here with him, wanted to curl around him rather than the cushion he was currently spooning. Jake craved the physical closeness that Josh had with Ryder; he had from the first moment he'd seen it. Their bro hugs were amazing, now that they were happening, but they were no way near enough. Because Jake really, really wanted to kiss Ryder.

So now it was official, now he'd finally stopped suppressing those feelings. Jake was in love with Ryder. And for some reason, that thought really didn't scare him.

The suddenness of the realisation made him want to wake Ryder, to tell him everything, right now. It was weird, he knew that. He should have been having some existential crisis, freaking out about his newfound sexuality. But instead, he just wanted to confess everything to Ryder.

He'd almost convinced himself to go tiptoeing across the room when he remembered. Ryder was crushing on Josh. It didn't matter how Jake felt, because Ryder would never be interested. They would only ever be friends.

Jake felt himself come crashing down. All the hope and excitement crumpled in on itself. Moments ago, he'd been feeling so high; now it felt like the lowest of lows. He began to curse himself, hating the fact that he believed Josh was being nice. Why would he even think that Josh would try to help him?

Fighting the urge to cry, Jake mourned the opportunity he'd lost, just when he'd found it. He spent the next hour watching Ryder sleep. Every minute that passed made him realise more and more how deeply in love he was.

**I hope you feel I did that justice. I always find it difficult to make it believable that a supposedly straight guy has suddenly fallen for a guy. So I hope that it feels legit. Any feedback about it is welcome. Or any feedback for that matter.**

**I kinda feel like I've done a bad job tagging the categories for this fic. Does anyone have any opinions about changing it? Do you think this is angsty? Do you think I should tag this as romance, even though it hasn't happened yet?**

**Also, I think, this will prob be another three chapters. I think. At least, anyhow. And I promise I won't leave Jake hurting for toooo long.**


	6. Chapter 6

Tuesday lunchtime, and Jake tried to focus on his lunch tray, instead of watching Ryder while he ate. Usually Josh would be with them as well, but today it was just the two of them for the first time in a while. It was nice, Jake found, not having to pretend to almost tolerate Josh for once.

Ryder was talking animatedly about some movie, words coming out garbled around mouthfuls of food. It was so completely normal, he was acting so completely normal. It was like nothing had changed. Jake just wanted to shake him, make him realise how different everything was now. How different Jake was now.

That revelation on Saturday night had changed him. He was sure of it. He knew that was probably a little melodramatic, but that's how it was. He was acting differently around Ryder, and he didn't know how everybody hadn't caught on. He couldn't look at Ryder, not in the eyes, not if he ever wanted to look away. Conversation felt so much more stilted. Normally, he would be sharing his own opinions about this movie, prepared to debate even the smallest of points. But today, it was a monologue. Jake couldn't even remember what movie Ryder was talking about.

'Josh reckons it'll get a nomination for best soundtrack.' The mention of Josh dragged Jake's attention back, at the same time reminding him how he'd lost out. He found himself studying Ryder's face, wondering if he was pained by thoughts of Josh as well. It was unrequited love after all. 'He reckoned the music alone made him cry. Anyway, we're thinking of seeing it again this weekend. You should come along; me, you and Josh.'

Nope, there weren't any physical signs. Jake decided he'd just ask instead. 'Isn't it hard? Y'know, being friends with Josh?'

Ryder seemed confused as he stabbed at his food. 'What do you mean? I'm pretty sure I've never become friends with someone faster.'

'Yea, but he's straight. You're never gonna have a chance with him.'

'Jake, you're really confusing me.'

'What? Why?' He placed his fork down forcefully. 'All I'm asking is if it's hard to be friends with the guy you have a crush on.'

The expression on Ryder's face was unreadable. 'I don't have a crush on Josh.'

Jake immediately felt his hope rise slightly. But he ignored that. He was far too confused for that. 'You don't? But you said you had a crush on – '

'Yea, but not Josh.' Ryder seemed almost exasperated.

'Well, who do you like?' Jake started running through all the possibilities. It was probably someone in glee club. Ryder was friends with Unique, wasn't he?

Ryder's voice was quiet when he replied. 'I'm not going to tell you.'

'Why not?'

'I just – I can't.' He almost seemed to deflate. Was he ashamed of the fact that Unique was transgendered? That really didn't sound like Ryder. Maybe it was something else then. An adult or something. Maybe he had a crush on Finn?

'Come on Ryder, you can trust me.' The words brought back memories – Marley breaking up with him, conversations with Ryder on the grass.

'I'm sorry Jake.'

Jake was getting upset now. He felt himself rising from the table. 'I thought you said you'd trust me with your life. Why can't you trust me with this?' He grabbed his bag before storming away. Tears were threatening.

At first, Jake just walked the hallways, but people were starting to give him weird looks. He didn't want anyone asking him questions. What would he tell them? That the guy he was in love with didn't trust him? Yea, like that was gonna happen.

Jake made his way to the auditorium. He didn't want Ryder finding him, so there was no use heading to the bleachers. At least here it would take Ryder a while to turn up. If he even bothered to come looking.

Jake was halfway down the stairs before he even realised there was someone else in the auditorium. Two people actually. Marley and Josh. He wanted to sneak out, but he'd made too much noise now. They'd seen him. In fact, Marley was hurrying over to him, stopping when she was a couple of steps away.

'Jake, are you ok?' She sounded concerned.

'Yea, I'm fine.' But even he knew that he didn't sound fine.

'You can tell me what's wrong, Jake. I want us to still be friends.' Jake wanted that too, so he let Marley lead him down the stairs. They both sat down in the front row. Josh perched on the edge of the stage, offering a gentle smile.

Jake wanted to turn the attention away from himself for a moment. 'What are you guys doing here?'

'Preparing a song for glee club,' Josh explained. 'So what happened?'

'I had a fight with Ryder,' he admitted reluctantly. Marley gripped his arm kindly. 'He said he doesn't trust me.'

Marley gave a sharp intake of breath. Jake knew she caught onto the significance. 'I'm so sorry, Jake. I never meant to hurt you about that.'

'No.' H shook his head firmly. 'I realise now that you were right. I'm the one that's sorry. I should never have treated you like that.' He felt relieved to get the apology out.

Josh was watching them carefully. 'Are you sure Ryder actually said that? It doesn't sound quite right.'

Jake thought for a moment, considering the conversation. 'Well, no. But when I said that was why he wouldn't tell me who he liked, he didn't deny it.' Josh was just laughing at him now. Which wasn't very fair, so when Jake spoke, it came out gruffly. 'What's so funny?'

'Do you want to know the real reason Ryder wouldn't tell you?' Jake found himself wondering why Josh thought he knew the answer, but he nodded anyway. 'You're the one he's in love with.'

Jake spluttered in shock. There was no way it could be true. Of course, he wanted it to be. But there was no way that it actually was. 'Don't lie to me.'

'Why would I lie?' Josh seemed genuinely hurt. 'I'm trying to help the two of you out here. That's why I clued you into your feelings.'

'What feelings?' Marley wanted to know.

'I'm in love with Ryder,' Jake muttered in reply. It felt weird, saying it aloud for the first time. He turned back to Josh. 'But how are you so sure he loves me?'

'He told me. Hey, don't look hurt. Of course he couldn't tell you. He only told me because he needed to tell someone.'

So it was true then. Ryder loved him as well. It wasn't a lost cause after all. They could be together.

Although, he had just spazzed at Ryder back in the cafeteria. Ryder was probably mad at him now. He'd have to do something about that. He'd have to do something to show Ryder just how he felt.

He had to do something romantic.

**Thanks for all your awesome feedback about the last chapter. It helps me a lot to know whether or not I'm on the right track. And I'm glad to hear that people are enjoying this fic.**

**In case you haven't seen, I posted another Jyder one-shot yesterday – High on Love and Laughing Gas.**

**So I was reading the start of a fic today where Adult Jake and his boyfriend Ryder were in the background. It was giving me all the feels! Just thought you might like to know.**


	7. Chapter 7

**So the song that Jake sings is called Role of a Lifetime. If you want to listen, here's a link: www. youtube watch?v=RKx88u2g5oo**

**It's from a musical called Bare: A Pop Opera. I watched it the other day (I saw it mentioned on this site) and it's pretty awesome.**

The next day, Finn had barely entered the choir room when Jake was bursting from his seat to talk to him. Ryder hadn't said a word to him since lunch yesterday, but it was ok, because Jake had the perfect solution.

'Hey, um, Finn,' he called as he approached. 'Would it be ok if I shared a song?'

'Sure,' he agreed. He got everyone's attention, and soon Jake was standing alone in front of the group.

'Ok, so, um, I'm learning to be more honest with myself, and so I wanted to be honest with all of you too. Because I'm in love with someone, but I couldn't just tell them. So I thought I'd continue with the assignment from the other week, songs we'd never sing. I really identified with this song, both the person who sings it, and the person that it's about. So, um, yea.'

The music began then, and Jake fixed his eyes on Ryder. Throughout the whole song, he watched Ryder, and he could gradually see the realisation in his eyes. He could feel the love in his own chest, welling up, and bursting out.

_Everything's an act,  
When you're pleasing everyone.  
And he assumes that role  
To such renown.  
He plays a perfect part,  
Straight from his heart  
Knowing the risk he takes  
And hoping that the house  
Is not brought down._

The role of a lifetime, it's living a fantasy.  
A drama that you struggle to erase.  
Thoughts battle words over deeds  
A war with such casualties.  
All played out behind a smiling face.

God I need your guidance  
Tell me what it means  
To live a life where nothings as it seems.  
Spending days in silent fear,  
And spending nights in lonely prayer.  
Hoping that one day when you wake,  
Those feelings won't be there.

So confused because I feel complete with him.  
When we're alone it all somehow makes sense  
Look into his eyes for some compromise  
Remember the word, forget  
And try to bury something so intense.

You learn to play the straight man,  
Your lines become routine.  
Never really saying what you mean.  
But I know the scene will change,  
White picket fences, and a dog,  
A trophy bride, and children.  
God I know that's what he wants  
But Jason what role do I play,  
Am I a savior or a phase?  
Am I here to damn you?  
Or to help you navigate this maze.  
Where confusion is a crime,  
So you fill your life with sound,  
And if you dance like hell,  
You hope you never touch the ground.  
What happens when the music stops?  
In the silence will he stay?  
One day he'll realize that these feelings  
aren't going away,  
So we drive ourselves insane,  
Spinning circles in our souls,  
As we dance around and play pretend.  
And once again,  
Reprise our roles.

As the song finished, Jake could distantly hear the applause, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Ryder. It was a few moments before his legs started working. He took his seat in front of Ryder again, feeling a hand land gently on his shoulder. He wanted to turn around, but he couldn't. Not if he wanted to get through the practise. The hand stayed there though.

Finn was standing up the front again. Jake could feel him watching the two of them. Eventually, he spoke up. 'Ok, so I just realised that we really need to work on the girls' choreography. So guys, you're free to go.' He gave Jake a last smile.

Jake felt his elbow being grabbed. Ryder was already out of his chair, and he was now pulling Jake from the room. He didn't stop dragging him until they reached an empty classroom.

Ryder forced him back against a wall, hovering over him. 'So I take it you're in love with me?' It was said softly, full of hope.

Jake just nodded in response. Apparently, that was all Ryder needed, because suddenly, he was crashing their lips together. Kissing Ryder was everything that Jake had hoped it would be. The kiss was urgent and heated; messy almost. Ryder's tongue had quickly made its way into his mouth, and was now exploring every nook it could reach. Jake tried to kiss back, tried to battle Ryder's tongue with his own, but it was hard. Ryder was kinda dominating the kiss. And Jake had to admit that he really didn't mind at all. His head fell back against the wall with a thunk, but neither of them broke away. Both of Ryder's hands were gripping his hips. One of his own was in Ryder's hair, the other fisting Ryder's shirt.

Ryder pulled back abruptly. 'You're noisy.' Jake ducked his head in embarrassment, he hadn't even noticed. Ryder smiled gently. 'I actually liked it, Jake.'

Jake didn't reply, just pulled Ryder back towards him with the handful of shirt. Ryder nearly fell against him, hand coming up to catch himself on the wall. Jake kissed him this time, nipping at his bottom lip, pleased when Ryder let out a low groan. After a few more moments, Ryder pulled away again, standing upright.

'So I probably should have asked if you'd be my boyfriend.'

'Why?' Jake asked jokingly as he stood back up. 'You kinda have a history of randomly making out with guys.'

Ryder glared playfully at him. 'Will you be my boyfriend though?'

'Of course.' He leant forward to take both of Ryder's hands, squeezing them lightly.

'Great,' Ryder replied, leading them out of the classroom. 'I really do love you, y'know.'

Jake smiled across at him. 'I love you too. Serious question though. Am I a better kisser than Josh?'

Ryder laughed along with him. 'Yea. But then again, Josh was pretty terrible.'

'Hmm, at least there's one thing going against him then. I was starting to worry he might be perfect.'

'Should I be jealous?' There was laughter in his eyes. 'I thought you hated Josh, anyway?'

'Well, I'm not making any promises, but I might have been wrong about the guy.' Ryder was watching him questioningly. 'Well, he did play matchmaker after all.'

'I should have known you couldn't work this all out for yourself.' Jake just shoved him playfully.

They continued to walk silently, hand in hand. They were just reaching the front entrance to the school when Ryder tugged him to a stop. His eyes bore into Jake. 'I just – I want you to know – I really do trust you Jake.'

Jake smiled in response. 'I know.'

**Ryder talking about trusting people, it just feels so much more significant now. Even if this was born more out of Jake's insecurities.**

**Anyway, just an epilogue to go. Some kind of cute boyfriend fluff.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Two weeks later**

Jake and Ryder were sharing a booth at Breadstix, their second ever date. Jake had hooked his foot around Ryder's ankle, and Ryder was holding his hand across the table. They'd just ordered their food when Jake spotted a familiar face near the entrance.

'Hey,' he squeezed at Ryder's hand to get his attention. 'Is that Josh?'

Ryder spun in his seat, foot slipping away from Jake's. 'Yea, it definitely is. And, um, it looks like Marley's with him.'

Jake tore his gaze away from Ryder, looking back over to Josh. Sure enough, Marley was there too, both of them hovering around each other awkwardly. They were waiting to be seated, several other couples ahead of them. Jake lifted a hand to wave them over, pleased that Marley was looking around curiously.

She noticed them immediately, and the two hurried to Jake and Ryder's table. 'What are you doing here?' she asked.

'We're on a date,' Jake replied, curious as to why they even had to ask. 'What about you?'

'We're on a date too,' Josh explained. 'Our first date.'

Jake thought about that for a moment. He kinda liked the idea of the two of them. They both definitely deserved someone. But they seemed uncomfortable with each other. Jake didn't want them ending before they even had a chance. 'Do you wanna join us?' he asked, casting a questioning look to Ryder. 'Like, a double date?'

Josh and Marley turned to each other to consider. Jake felt Ryder's foot slide over his calf. He was smiling gently, as if to say he was proud of him. Jake just smiled back, until he felt a body slipping in next to him. Josh was sitting down, Marley sitting opposite.

'Thanks for the offer, man.' Josh clapped him on the back.

'Yea, of course.'

Ryder spoke up then. 'I have to say, I'm kinda surprised. I didn't see this coming.'

'Yea, well,' Marley seemed kinda embarrassed. 'We hung out a lot with that assignment for glee. I guess we just clicked.'

Jake noticed the smitten look that Josh was giving her as he leaned over to take her hand. Jake turned back to Ryder, wanting to give the two of them a moment of privacy.

Ryder was grinning broadly at him now. 'You're amazing. You know that, right?'

'What do you mean?' He matched Ryder's hushed tone.

'The fact that you'd do this for them.'

Jake smiled back, feeling shy. 'Well, they are my friends.'

Ryder just squeezed his hand in response, staring into his eyes until Marley asked them both a question.

**I just want to thank you all so much for reading this. Thanks especially to those who favourited, followed and reviewed. There were some great reviews with some useful feedback which is always great. Finally, I wanna thank Tincho P again for prompting such an awesome idea.**

**Hope you all enjoyed this story!**


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